why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
