I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
