Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Randomize
