come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
