I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
