I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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