your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
