Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
