Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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