I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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