How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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