Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize