Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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