Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
