From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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