He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
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Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
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I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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