We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
