i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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