If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
