Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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