please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
