MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Drunk is not a location!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
