My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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