Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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