the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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