Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize