I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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