ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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