Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize