i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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