normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
