Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The air was thick with penises
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
