Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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