Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I heard we made out
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
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I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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