Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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