you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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