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I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize