Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize