I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
