Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We talked him into tasing himself.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
