If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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