so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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