The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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