forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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