Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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