Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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