Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This girl is more easily done than said...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
