Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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