I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Randomize
