Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
