fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
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possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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