oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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