I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
