I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
