Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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