Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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