Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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