The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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