my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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