we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
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First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
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Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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